5 Reasons To Ditch Your Deodorant

Have you ever needed to calculate the square root of 43 . . .

While checking out at the grocery store? Yeah, me neither. But you know what I have done in grocery stores? Googled mysterious ingredients on my phone.

I’ve already shared with you my man-stink killer deodorant recipe along with my sensitive skin formula and my fave pre-made option, but have I really explained why it’s so important? NO? Oops.

So here’s the deal: There are literally thousands of synthetic chemicals on store shelves in our grocery stores, but information about how these chemicals affect us wasn’t on a high school pop quiz. We learned about square roots and the fact that William Shakespeare married to a woman named Anne Hathaway, but not this. And you guys, that’s a problem because everyone has to eat. (And though it’s not absolutely necessary, I presume most of us bathe at least occasionally, too!)

Despite the fact that they’re added to food, personal care products, and household cleaners, many of these chemicals have never been tested for safety. (source 1, source 2) When I realized that, I began switching over to products free of synthetic chemicals, starting with the products I use most often.

Because it was so easy to replace and there were definite concerns about its use, deodorant was the first to go. Here are are the top five reasons I ditched conventional deodorant, and why you might want to consider doing it, too.


5 Reasons To Ditch Conventional Deodorant
Aluminum

Many deodorants and antiperspirants – including some “natural crystal” deodorants – contain forms of aluminum, which inhibit perspiration. This controversial ingredient is classified in this review, which was written by an oncologist, as both a genotoxin and hormone disruptor.

It was found by one study to “change the way breast cells divide, even at low concentrations.” (source 1, source 2) And in this study, aluminum levels in nipple aspirate fluids were compared in breast cancer patients versus healthy control patients. The cancer patients had significantly higher levels of aluminum, and researchers concluded that the “reasons for the high levels of aluminium in NAF [nipple aspirate fluid] remain unknown but possibilities include either exposure to aluminium-based antiperspirant salts in the adjacent underarm area and/or preferential accumulation of aluminium by breast tissues.”
Triclosan

10 Things to Stop Expecting From Others

We put ourselves through unnecessary suffering when we have unreasonable expectations for others or constantly put them under a microscope. Of course, we all deserve basic things in relationships, like respect, but counting on anything other than that may leave you sorely disappointed.

Remember that everyone is at a different place on their journey, so their words and actions will reflect that. If you want to have more successful, happier relationships with people, it’s important that you…
Stop Expecting These Things From Others:
1. Stop expecting them to always do the “right thing” based on your standards.

People’s morals and ethics differ based on a lot of factors, like their upbringing, culture, spiritual beliefs, etc. For example, in some Asian countries, dog is considered a delicacy, and they don’t feel wrong for eating animals we view as pets because it’s what they’ve been accustomed to. Or, let’s say you never swear, but your friend curses like a sailor. Does that make him or her wrong? Well, to some it does, but expecting them to do right in your eyes will always end in frustration, because right and wrong aren’t clearly defined.

Just focus on adhering to your own morals, and let others live as they choose, as long as it doesn’t hurt you or the people you care about.

10 Reasons People Stop Falling In Love

Choosing not to fall in love is entirely different than falling out of love. When people fall out of love, they have grown in different ways while choosing not to fall in love means people purposefully keep love from happening.

Our hearts do not understand the difference between romantic love and friendship love. Love is love and by not allowing oneself to fall in love we are in essence refusing all love.

People may not even realize they’re are doing it, so we’ve compiled ten reasons people stop falling in love to help understand why it happens.
10 Reasons People Stop Falling in Love:
1. Seeking instant gratification.

As part of a society that promotes and delivers instant access to anything and everything, there’s a problem created, simply because falling in love is anything but instant.

Falling in love isn’t about the “love at first sight” feelings people talk about, it is about building a relationship based on common values and mutual interests. And that takes time.

Unfortunately, instant gratification is an enemy of falling in love, and if we aren’t careful, it could prevent us from experiencing it.
2. Being emotionally unavailable

Some people think of feelings as the enemy and that having them is a sign of weakness. You hide from your feelings in an attempt to appear strong and confident. You create a false reality based on what you think other people want to see.

How can you fall in love when you are not open to the feelings that the process creates? Falling in love is all about feelings, very heightened and very wonderful feelings.
3. Commitment issues

There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself unless it gets in the way of what is right for you. But If you are on a constant quest for something better, you will never know when the best has arrived.

You run the risk of letting the best get away unless you are willing to commit to what is now. Instead of consistently looking for something better, look at what’s best in life right now and focus on that. Only then will better things come to pass.
4. Too much focus on “self”

Being happy is all about doing more of what makes yourself feel good, so it makes sense that we think about what we need. It’s being overly focused on our own selves that’s the problem.

We have to function in society, and that means having relationships with other people, who are also thinking about their needs. It’s important to balance our needs with the needs of others.

The #1 Reason Angry Couples Stay Together

Have you ever observed a hostile couple and thought, why do they stay together?

If so, read on.

When I started out as a rookie therapist over a decade ago, I had more questions than ever about human behavior. It was a case of the more you know, the less you understand. That scared me since a master's degree in social work meant I should have a leg up on helping others to help themselves.

The lesson learned much later is that people in relationships may say they want a harmonious relationship, but that's not always the case. Especially when anger is the glue binding these dysfunctional unions.

Partnership is defined here as romantic relationships, but extends to other interpersonal duos such as parents and children, supervisors and supervises, etc. I see this dynamic constantly -- no matter the race, socioeconomic level or age.

Here's the thing -- you have two choices when a friend, a family member or a coworker complains about their relationship. You can a) continue to dispense advice centered around how this person is lovable, smart and deserves better, or b) you could politely tell him/her that this topic is off-limits.

Sound harsh?

I know. It's hard seeing someone you care about go through emotional pain.

It's also hard being mentally and physically exhausted after the umpteenth 2:00 a.m. phone call. And you deserve a good night's rest. It's essential to mental clarity and optimal functioning, after all.

So what's a happy medium between showing support, but also establishing boundaries?

Understanding the dynamics at hand.

I won't lie -- it takes a while to mentally integrate this information. But once you get the connection, you've set the stage for one colossal reserve of mental energy this side of the Grand Canyon.

Here's the summarized version of 11 things I've learned about angry partnerships during the past thirteen years:

9 Things Only Women Who Have a Twin Understand

Life is a little different when you’re not quite one of a kind.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be a twin? You’re not the only one! Confessing that I'm an identical twin is often met with the same series of questions: Do you have ESP? Not really. Can you feel when the other one is pain? Not at all. Here are nine things about being a twin that are actually true.

1. You're an Expert Among Sharing Experts
From sharing nutrients in the womb to fighting over car keys as teenagers, no one can excel at this elementary skill quite like twins.

2. There's This Twin Thing
Let’s be honest: There are things other siblings, friends, or significant others just won’t understand. Like how sometimes you think you have ESP, or know what the other is thinking with just a look. The simplest explanation will always have your back: Sorry, it’s a twin thing.

3. You Actually Know What It Feels Like to Double Your Wardrobe
Okay, so maybe your mom once made you wear the same outfits but in different colors. Now, you get a whole second wardrobe to raid. Bonus style points for twins with the same shoe size. Cha-ching!

4. Talking About Fertilized Eggs Is Normal
You’ve been explaining the biological differences between identical and fraternal twins since your sixth grade health class. Here’s the gist: Identical twins mean the fertilized egg split—it’s an unpredictable occurrence that has nothing to do with your genes. Fraternal twins occur when a woman produces multiple eggs and two become fertilized—this is a genetic thing.

5. Life Is More Fun When You Have a Partner in Crime
"Remember when" stories are much better when they go way, way back. Like that time you successfully duped your parents or teachers, or when you pulled a prank on another sibling 10, 15, or 25 years ago.

What 8 Women Learned From Breaking Up With Their BFFs

Some friendships weren't meant to be forever.

Everyone knows that breakups in general are the freaking worst, but one of the toughest failed relationships to get over is a friendship. No matter the reason for your split, ending a friendship can make you feel as miserable—if not more miserable—than breaking up with a dude you've been seeing. After all, wasn't she the one who helped you get over all those mediocre guys of the past?

But just like cutting the cord in a toxic romantic relationship can help you see the light, ditching a friend who doesn't bring out your best side can teach you a lot about yourself and what a healthy friendship should actually look like.

So we asked Women's Health readers to spill what things became clear after they decided to call it quits with a girlfriend. Here, the lessons they learned post-breakup:

"Walking away from a friend of 20 years was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. She was there for me after my first serious relationship ended and no one else would listen. But when I met someone new, she got really controlling and jealous. I had to slowly back off until eventually we stopped speaking. I felt guilty at first because I thought I owed her for helping me get through my breakup. But now I realize that I didn't owe her anything. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, not control your life." –Deb B.

"I've had to cut off friends before, and each time, I felt a sense of relief. I needed to stop doing things for people who expected my help and didn't appreciate it. I learned that real friendship is a two-way street." –Luisa P.

What It's Like to Make More Than Your Husband

One woman opens up about the reality facing more and more women.

When my now-husband Chris and I first met, I was a poor grad student who waited tables to make ends meet. My rent was ridiculously cheap, and thank goodness, because I had negative dollars to my name.

I eventually got a full-time office job, but the salary was so bad I had to work at a coffee shop on weekends to pay my bills. While I was working my way up the ladder, Chris already had a successful career as a chef—and his salary reflected it. He wasn't rolling in it, but he was definitely making more money than me. He never made a big deal about it, he just chipped in a little more than me sometimes on things like rent and utilities.

Eventually, my career grew. I got promotions and new jobs and the salary boosts that came with it. My salary surpassed Chris's before we got married and continued to grow. His grew, too, but not at the same rate since chefs, unfortunately, make a fraction of what they deserve.

Now, between career advancements and side projects, I make significantly more than he does. For the most part, it's awesome. I've always wanted to make money for my family, and I love being able to make a decent impact on my family's finances. But there are definitely some drawbacks.

For one thing, I feel pressure to make a certain salary in order to maintain our family's status quo. If my career suddenly went to hell, we'd have serious financial issues. If Chris's did, we'd have to tighten our belts, but we'd still be okay. That doesn't mean his job is less important—it's just the reality of the situation. 

For the most part, Chris could care less that I make more, and he's always been supportive of my career. But occasionally he'll say things like "my job is important, too" when we're discussing something like who has to take time off when our son is sick and has to stay home from daycare. It breaks my heart that he would even think he has to say that.

My Mom Told Me Not to Marry My Husband...And Now She Loves Him

How one woman's hubby finally won her mother over

My mom wasn't exactly thrilled when I started dating my now-husband, Chris.

Despite the fact that I was clearly into him, she'd change the subject whenever I mentioned him and encouraged me more than a few times to "see what else is out there." She was subtle about it at first but cranked up the heat once we became more serious.

It was weird: Chris did everything right. He was polite, kind, and, most importantly, treated me well. But she couldn't get past his long hours as a chef, the gauges in his ears, and the fact that he didn't have the same level of higher education that I did.

When Chris and I moved in together after a year of dating, it was on. She refused to set foot in our apartment when she came to visit, even though she lived hours away, and even once asked my brother-in-law to set me up with one of his friends—right in front of me.

Chris was aware of my mom's issues with our relationship but didn't let it faze him. He was incredibly patient with her comments in a way that I'm not sure I would be if roles were reversed. But while he didn't seem to care, I did. And it bothered me more as time went on.

Things finally came to a head at my cousin's wedding, of all places. After my mom made a few loaded comments about Chris over the passed hors d'oeuvres, I pulled her aside and told her she needed to stop. She refused, and I stormed out. It was beyond dramatic, and our relationship was strained for months after that.

Eventually, the criticisms stopped, mostly because my mom realized we weren't going to have a good relationship if they continued. She slowly warmed up to Chris over the years, but I could tell she still wasn't convinced that he was the one for me.

I came home one day to find my mom in my apartment, cooking with Chris. They laughed and chatted, and when she hugged him, I nearly passed out.

What had happened? Earlier that day, Chris had asked my parents if he could ask me to marry him. Apparently seeing that Chris was serious about a future with me was what it took for my mom to finally see how great he is.

My mom's 180 isn't uncommon, according to licensed clinical psychologist Kelly Tonelli, PsyD. She says that parents typically come around on their child's significant other after that person shows a big commitment like a proposal. "The concern might have been that the partner would never commit," she explains. Time can also help resolve any issues they had with an S.O., as well as just create a general acceptance that they're part of the family now, she says.

I have a lot of friends who have struggled with the same issue, and apparently we all failed on one major factor: We tried too hard to bring our parents around. Tonelli stresses that it's important to not force things, which I definitely did. I would often slip little factoids about why Chris was so great into conversations with my mom and set up opportunities for them to be alone, even though she clearly wasn't feeling it. "You cannot make your parents like someone," says Tonelli.

Thankfully, it did. The proposal definitely helped, but now that we're married, my mom treats him like her own son. She makes big gestures, like going to events at his restaurant and talking up his accomplishments to everyone she sees. But I really notice the little things she does for him now, like how she stocks her fridge with Chris's favorite beer when we come to visit, invites him to swing by for coffee on his way to work, and calls him to chat when I'm not home. Little gestures like that are what my mom always does for my sister and me, and it means so much that she does them for Chris now, too.

How Much Sex Should You Have When You’re Trying to Get Pregnant?

Find out the sweet spot.
Kim Kardashian has been pretty open these past several months about how she and husband Kanye are hard at work trying to create a second bundle of joy. She even told sister Khloe that she’s having sex 500 times a day in a promo for the new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which starts on March 15.

That’s obviously an exaggeration, but her comment made us wonder: Will getting it on several times a day increase your odds of conceiving?

The answer, surprisingly, is not exactly. “The general guideline for couples with no known fertility issues who are ready to become parents is to have frequent sex, which is defined as sex every day or every other day,” says Elizabeth Fino, M.D., assistant professor of ob-gyn and reproductive specialist at the NYU Fertility Center in New York City.

Knocking boots at this rate means that a guy’s sperm will be fresh and healthy, ideal for fertilization. “More frequent than that puts a lot of pressure on couples to get busy, and we don’t want to make it too stressful,” says Fino.

The advice changes, however, if a couple sees a fertility specialist and the guy is diagnosed with issues (which is the case with approximately 40 percent of fertility-challenged couples). “If there’s a problem with a man’s sperm count or his ejaculate, it’s advised that the couple only have sex once every two or three days, which gives a man the opportunity to build up the best quality and quantity of sperm,” says Fino.

On the other hand, going without action for more than eight days can backfire; at that point, a man’s ejaculate will contain a higher percentage of older or even dead sperm—which are useless when it comes to conceiving. We don’t know what Kimye’s doctors are advising, but even five times a day is clearly too much of a good thing when it comes to making babies.

How to Forget Him

At the end of a relationship, it often seems like life is incapable of moving forward. This person is everywhere and moving on right now just isn’t an option. However, that’s not how things have to be. By modifying your environment, taking a hold of your thinking, and busying your life, they can easily be a thing of the past. Follow the steps below to forget this person and move on to a happier, healthier, complete you.

Part 1 of 3: Escaping Negative Reminders
     Cut off physical contact. You cannot forget someone if you still see him or her all the time, or constantly hear about his or her activities. Consider these strategies:
        Make sure you won't run into this person during your day-to-day activities. If you go grocery shopping at the same time, or take the same route home from work, tweak your schedule slightly so a chance meeting becomes more unlikely.
        For right now, avoid social gatherings where you know he or she will be present. Politely explain to the host that you hope the event goes well, and that you are staying away only because you want to avoid a painful encounter.

    2
    Remove him or her from your electronic life. In today’s day and age, the people we associate with are more often than not through a screen. Even if you don’t see the person, it’s far too easy to see what they’re up to. Though it may seem harsh, remove him or her from all the forms of social media that you use.
        Delete his or her contact information from your phone and email account
        Block his or her Facebook profile, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
        Take any other measures to prevent unwanted contact. If necessary, change your email address.
      

8 Signs It’s Definitely Time to Break Up

For those times when nothing big and horrible happened—but nothing is feeling right either

Sometimes relationships end after a huge shouting match. Sometimes one person cheated. Sometimes one partner is moving or is ready to get married or wants to have kids. And sometimes, a relationship just runs its course. That last scenario, though, can be hard to interpret: How do you know when it’s time to call it quits, versus when you’re just going through a rough patch? We spoke with relationship experts to get a list of eight crucial signs to look out for. If several of these apply to you, and if you’ve worked on them to no avail or if it just feels too late, it could be time to cut the cord.

You’re Fighting Over EVERTHING

Fact: Fights happen. And some couples just naturally fight more than others. But if your argument pattern is changing and you’re starting to pick fights over the littlest, most insignificant things, that could be an indication that something’s awry, says relationship therapist Rachel Sussman, LCSW, author of The Breakup Bible.

You’re Staying Later and Later at the Office

“The whole essence of being in love is that you always want more,” says Jane Greer, Ph.D., New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. If you’re not feeling any desire to hurry home after a long day at work, ask yourself why.

Benefits of Wine: 8 Reasons Wine Is the Best Thing Ever

Feeling guilty about your nightly glass of vino? We give you full permission to drink up—for your health. Cheers to these many awesome (surprising!) benefits of wine.

 Benefits of Wine: It Makes You More Attractive

Drinking just one glass of wine makes you more attractive to others, according to a study published in Alcohol and Alcoholism. Researchers think low doses of alcohol (more does not help) may give you a healthy glow and subtle smile—who doesn't want that?

 Benefits of Wine: It's Good for Your Heart

While researchers have found an association between wine and heart health, many past studies only looked at white populations. But a new Nutrition and Aging study looked at almost 3,000 ethnically diverse women, and found some good news: Moderate wine consumption may reduce your risk of heart disease, possibly because of the polyphenol content.

 Benefits of Wine: It May Help Maintain Muscle

French researchers set out to discover whether resveratrol, a component of wine (which has been linked to lower levels of bad cholesterol and protecting the lining of blood heart vessels) could help preserve muscle mass in astronauts. Why? Astronauts experience lots of health issues from the zero gravity inactivity. To replicate the weightless state, researches hung rats by their back legs. Half received a dose of resveratrol and the other half didn't. Those that didn't experienced reduced muscle mass, strength, and bone density while the resveratrol group was spared.

Weird Reasons Women Sometimes Fall for A-holes

It's not you, it's his striking resemblance to your father.
You probably think you have a good sense for what gets you totally smitten. A whip-smart wit, an awesome sense of adventure, a seriously huge heart—whatever it is, you can usually spot a good one. So why is it that you sometimes find yourself drawn to a guy who makes your head say no, no, no…but makes your heart say yes, yes, yes? Here are just a few things that science says might lead to you falling hard, despite your best intentions:

1. He's the Male Version of You
We know, we know, it's opposites that are supposed to attract—but several studies over the years have shown that the more alike you are, the stronger the attraction. From having the same sense of humor to looking similar, all the stuff you have in common could cancel out his more unsavory qualities (you know, the ones you don't share).