What 8 Women Learned From Breaking Up With Their BFFs

Some friendships weren't meant to be forever.

Everyone knows that breakups in general are the freaking worst, but one of the toughest failed relationships to get over is a friendship. No matter the reason for your split, ending a friendship can make you feel as miserable—if not more miserable—than breaking up with a dude you've been seeing. After all, wasn't she the one who helped you get over all those mediocre guys of the past?

But just like cutting the cord in a toxic romantic relationship can help you see the light, ditching a friend who doesn't bring out your best side can teach you a lot about yourself and what a healthy friendship should actually look like.

So we asked Women's Health readers to spill what things became clear after they decided to call it quits with a girlfriend. Here, the lessons they learned post-breakup:

"Walking away from a friend of 20 years was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. She was there for me after my first serious relationship ended and no one else would listen. But when I met someone new, she got really controlling and jealous. I had to slowly back off until eventually we stopped speaking. I felt guilty at first because I thought I owed her for helping me get through my breakup. But now I realize that I didn't owe her anything. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, not control your life." –Deb B.

"I've had to cut off friends before, and each time, I felt a sense of relief. I needed to stop doing things for people who expected my help and didn't appreciate it. I learned that real friendship is a two-way street." –Luisa P.

How Your Friends Can Predict Your Life Span

Your BFF knows a lot about you—from your favorite snack to that time you bailed on a blind date—but could she actually know how long you're going to live? A new study shows that your closest confidante may be picking up on vital cues about your health.

Will I live a long life? is a question that has likely crossed your mind. And while you probably have a guestimate thanks to your doctor and family's medical history, you might want to talk to your close friends, too: According to a study published in Psychological Science, your circle of pals may be picking up on personality traits that reflect how long you're going to live.

The top attributes that have the biggest impact on life span: conscientiousness (good) and neuroticism (bad). "Your friends have important insights into who you are that you may miss or not be able to see," says Joshua Jackson, PhD, lead author of the study and assistant professor of psychology at Washington University in St. Louis. "The personality traits they pick up on can predict health and longevity."

The core of Jackson's discovery is based on a study carried out in the 1930s by experts who were looking for markers of a happy marriage. The researchers analyzed 300 couples and included assessments of the participants' personalities from their friends. The husband-and-wife pairs were subsequently followed up with in the 1950s and again in 1980. Through the span of decades, researchers connected the group's mannerisms with the years of their deaths.

The work may seem archaic, but under Jackson and his coauthors' modern lens, they found that the info is far from dated: "Conscientious individuals are more likely to exercise regularly, eat healthy, and avoid unsafe behaviors, such as drug and alcohol abuse or risky driving," Jackson says, adding that this type of temperament can tack on 7.5 years to your life. "But someone who is neurotic is more likely to experience stress, and is likely to cope with it through dicey behaviors, like smoking or unhealthy eating."

Curious? Send this along to your best gal pal, and see what she says.