The #1 Reason Angry Couples Stay Together

Have you ever observed a hostile couple and thought, why do they stay together?

If so, read on.

When I started out as a rookie therapist over a decade ago, I had more questions than ever about human behavior. It was a case of the more you know, the less you understand. That scared me since a master's degree in social work meant I should have a leg up on helping others to help themselves.

The lesson learned much later is that people in relationships may say they want a harmonious relationship, but that's not always the case. Especially when anger is the glue binding these dysfunctional unions.

Partnership is defined here as romantic relationships, but extends to other interpersonal duos such as parents and children, supervisors and supervises, etc. I see this dynamic constantly -- no matter the race, socioeconomic level or age.

Here's the thing -- you have two choices when a friend, a family member or a coworker complains about their relationship. You can a) continue to dispense advice centered around how this person is lovable, smart and deserves better, or b) you could politely tell him/her that this topic is off-limits.

Sound harsh?

I know. It's hard seeing someone you care about go through emotional pain.

It's also hard being mentally and physically exhausted after the umpteenth 2:00 a.m. phone call. And you deserve a good night's rest. It's essential to mental clarity and optimal functioning, after all.

So what's a happy medium between showing support, but also establishing boundaries?

Understanding the dynamics at hand.

I won't lie -- it takes a while to mentally integrate this information. But once you get the connection, you've set the stage for one colossal reserve of mental energy this side of the Grand Canyon.

Here's the summarized version of 11 things I've learned about angry partnerships during the past thirteen years:

6 Relationship Skills Couples Often Forget

“Being someone’s first love is great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.”

When a couple settles into a relationship, the spark can diminish and make the relationships a little monotonous. The impressing and chasing, or “courting” period is definitely very spunky and fun, but after getting into a relationship, couples can lose that hypnotic attention.  It gets replaced by contentment and a sense of security. Couples who were earlier spontaneous in displaying their love get channeled into a fixed routine. Tensions and problems arise frequently. Impressing your beloved and getting into a relationship is much easier that making your relationship work.

Making a relationship work requires patience, commitment, and the intense desire to stick together, come whatever may.  These 6 simple reminders can keep the spark alive in your relationship to make it harmonious.
6 Relationship Skills Couples Often Forget:
1. Communication is the core of a happy relationship.

A couple may be deeply love, but reading each others mind isn’t always possible for everyone. Therefore, it’s essential to express your thoughts, ideas, doubts and problems with your partner. You should also share your negative thoughts and emotions with your partner.

If you’re is having problems, or is bothered by something/someone, it’s important to share with your significant other.  You might not be willing to bother your partner with this, but keeping it bottled within you can harm the relationship.

Over the stretch of time, if the problem doesn’t get solved, you may even get frustrated and escalate into anger outbursts.  Therefore, communication is fundamental whenever either of the people in the relationship is bothered by something.

Miscommunications can be lethal in a relationship. If you misunderstand what your partner wanted to say, talk with them about it and be willing to listen openly. If you feel hurt by your partner’s gesture, tell them calmly that you felt hurt. If you keep quiet and assume things, arguments can sprout, souring the relationship.  You may feel that you know your partner very well but also remember that people grow and change with time. So be calm and communicate with your partner openly and often.