If so, read on.
When I started out as a rookie therapist over a decade ago, I had more questions than ever about human behavior. It was a case of the more you know, the less you understand. That scared me since a master's degree in social work meant I should have a leg up on helping others to help themselves.
The lesson learned much later is that people in relationships may say they want a harmonious relationship, but that's not always the case. Especially when anger is the glue binding these dysfunctional unions.
Partnership is defined here as romantic relationships, but extends to other interpersonal duos such as parents and children, supervisors and supervises, etc. I see this dynamic constantly -- no matter the race, socioeconomic level or age.
Here's the thing -- you have two choices when a friend, a family member or a coworker complains about their relationship. You can a) continue to dispense advice centered around how this person is lovable, smart and deserves better, or b) you could politely tell him/her that this topic is off-limits.
Sound harsh?
I know. It's hard seeing someone you care about go through emotional pain.
It's also hard being mentally and physically exhausted after the umpteenth 2:00 a.m. phone call. And you deserve a good night's rest. It's essential to mental clarity and optimal functioning, after all.
So what's a happy medium between showing support, but also establishing boundaries?
Understanding the dynamics at hand.
I won't lie -- it takes a while to mentally integrate this information. But once you get the connection, you've set the stage for one colossal reserve of mental energy this side of the Grand Canyon.
Here's the summarized version of 11 things I've learned about angry partnerships during the past thirteen years:
