6 Relationship Skills Couples Often Forget

“Being someone’s first love is great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.”

When a couple settles into a relationship, the spark can diminish and make the relationships a little monotonous. The impressing and chasing, or “courting” period is definitely very spunky and fun, but after getting into a relationship, couples can lose that hypnotic attention.  It gets replaced by contentment and a sense of security. Couples who were earlier spontaneous in displaying their love get channeled into a fixed routine. Tensions and problems arise frequently. Impressing your beloved and getting into a relationship is much easier that making your relationship work.

Making a relationship work requires patience, commitment, and the intense desire to stick together, come whatever may.  These 6 simple reminders can keep the spark alive in your relationship to make it harmonious.
6 Relationship Skills Couples Often Forget:
1. Communication is the core of a happy relationship.

A couple may be deeply love, but reading each others mind isn’t always possible for everyone. Therefore, it’s essential to express your thoughts, ideas, doubts and problems with your partner. You should also share your negative thoughts and emotions with your partner.

If you’re is having problems, or is bothered by something/someone, it’s important to share with your significant other.  You might not be willing to bother your partner with this, but keeping it bottled within you can harm the relationship.

Over the stretch of time, if the problem doesn’t get solved, you may even get frustrated and escalate into anger outbursts.  Therefore, communication is fundamental whenever either of the people in the relationship is bothered by something.

Miscommunications can be lethal in a relationship. If you misunderstand what your partner wanted to say, talk with them about it and be willing to listen openly. If you feel hurt by your partner’s gesture, tell them calmly that you felt hurt. If you keep quiet and assume things, arguments can sprout, souring the relationship.  You may feel that you know your partner very well but also remember that people grow and change with time. So be calm and communicate with your partner openly and often.

9 Ways Therapists Can Tell If Your Relationship Won't Work

Here’s how the pros know if you're headed for troubled times.

This article was written by Cari Wira Dineen and provided by our partners at Prevention.

The sound of his chewing is beyond annoying. And let's not get started on how she never, ever makes the bed. "These little issues are totally normal in any relationship and aren't indicative of whether or not your romance will survive," says Melissa Cohen, a couples therapist in Westfield, New Jersey. But, according to Cohen and many other relationship experts, there are several warning signs they notice during sessions that signal bigger problems—and threaten the viability of their patients' relationships. Ready to assess the strength of your union? Here are nine big red flags to look out for.

1. Your Conflicts Include Criticism and Contempt.
Instead of saying, "Please unload the dishwasher," it sounds more like this: "Do you have some sort of mental condition? Or are you just too stupid to remember to do what I asked?" Notice how the criticism is not about the task—it's about the person. Any version of "What is wrong with you?" basically attacks the other person's character, which, when done regularly, can chip away at the relationship. As for the contempt part, that means you feel superior to you partner. Often, this can sound like, "Why do I have to do everything around here? You do nothing to help out." Contempt is also expressed nonverbally: eye-rolling, sneering, or imitating the person's mannerisms. And contempt just causes more conflict.

If you are stuck in a cycle of negativity, Cohen suggests that you make five positive comments to offset one negative comment. "If, say, you criticized your husband about his terrible driving, force yourself to make at least five endearing comments throughout the rest of the day to smooth things over," she says.

Saying This Simple Phrase to Your Partner Works Relationship Magic

One woman started using it with her husband—and was thrilled with the results.

I used to work for a startup that was big on using certain phrases to promote workplace harmony. I thought it was more than a little cheeseball at first—until I realized one in particular worked really well on my husband, Chris.

I actually discovered it by accident. Chris was ticked off and frazzled by his job, and after I listened to his venting, one of my work phrases just slipped out on autopilot: "How can I help?" He immediately relaxed, apologized for his tirade, and vowed not to let work get to him so much. Holy crap, it worked!


I whip it out when Chris is stressed and upset and even when he's annoyed at me. I'm such a big fan of "how can I help?" that I've told my friends about it, and now they use it on the regular. And it works every. Freaking. Time. Their partners usually take a beat, chill out, and tell us what we can do to help make the situation better.

It almost feels like I'm cheating the system—I skip all the venting, bypass the part where I will definitely might say something that'll upset Chris even more, and get to where I can actually take action to help, all in a matter of seconds.

What is it about this phrase that's so amazing?

It has pretty much everything you need to show your partner you care, which is crucial when they're upset, says New York-based relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? She says "how can I help?" conveys five important things: You're tuned in to your partner, aware of what they're going through, considering their feelings and needs, empathetic to their situation, and looking to help out on a supportive, concrete level.


Even better, Greer points out that the phrase gives women an exact roadmap on what to do next. You'll usually get an answer as simple as "just listen" (psh—already done) but if your S.O. needs something more in-depth, now is his chance to speak up. If he doesn't...well, you asked.