Weed Your Feed
Scrolling through a newsfeed of size 0 celebrities and models can make you feel like a figure failure. In fact, the more women are exposed to selfies and other online photos, the worse they feel about their appearance, according to a new study. But Facebook doesn't have to mess up your mojo. "The benefit to social media is the ability to curate your own content, so use that power to hide anyone who makes you feel insecure and follow friends and pages that make you feel good," says Claire Mysko, the study author and a project consultant at the National Eating DisordersAssociation. "Creating a feed that includes a variety of shapes reflects the real world and takes you away from the mind-set that there's only one size that's acceptable."
Like -- No, Love Yourself in Photos
When a friend tags what you deem to be an unflattering pic, resist the urge to cringe. "We're typically much kinder to others than we are to ourselves," says psychologist Robyn Silverman, PhD, author of Good Girls Don't Get Fat. After all, think about how quick you are to like someone else's Facebook photo. Would you be as quick to like your own? Instead of seeking out flaws, ask yourself what your bestie would say about the picture -- maybe that your smile is gorgeous or your legs look toned. "Treating yourself as you would your best friend gets you in the habit of speaking to yourself kindly," Silverman says. "The more you say positive things, the more it becomes a natural part of what your brain thinks."
Spread the Love
Turns out, those watercooler whisper sessions can give you a lift. When people spread kind gossip ("Did you hear that Jen completed the half-marathon in record time?"), they immediately experienced an increase in self-esteem, according to a British study. Just steer clear of the mean-spirited chatter; it can do the opposite. "Putting someone else down is a sign of insecurity, and it also brings down the people around you," says body-image expert Ann Kearney-Cooke, PhD, a psychologist at the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. "But talking positively about a person is energizing because it lifts her up -- and that gives you a boost, too."
Celebrate Your Moves
"One of the first questions I ask my clients is 'What is your favorite thing to do with your body?'" says Kearney-Cooke. "Some say it's running after their kids; for others, it's bending into a certain yoga pose. This cognitive exercise helps people realize that the body is an incredible tool, and that's a huge shift in perception." Asking yourself the same question can take away the tendency to seek out flaws and replace it with a focus on your unique abilities. After all, no one else can hug your kids the way you do or serve up your impossible-to-return backhand in tennis. "It wasn't until after I gave birth that I learned to appreciate my stomach," says Genevieve West, 33, of Portland, Oregon. "Even when I was in shape, I thought it was rolly. But after I carried four little people, how could I hate the place that was my babies' home? My stomach and stretch marks grew because my babies grew there -- that's something to be proud of!"
Know That Friends Don't Let Friends Talk Fat
The more friends discuss weight loss, appearance and dieting, the more likely they are to have body-image concerns, according to a study in the journal Sex Roles. "Women's concerns about their bodies are influenced by their friends' points of view. If you think your friend is unhappy with her body, then you are likely to be unhappy with yours," says study author Louise Wasylkiw, PhD, a psychologist at Mount Allison University in Canada. To change the conversation, agree that get-togethers will be a fat-talk-free zone and create a signal or noise (finger on the nose, a loud beep, whatever) for when someone violates the deal, suggests Silverman. Totally up for discussion: physical accomplishments -- like the fact that you biked 10 miles or were able to move your couch with no help from your guy. The same study found that friends who talk about exercise goals and achievements were more satisfied with their bodies.
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